I had a feeling this would happen. I would start a blog, write a post or two (ha, didn't even make it that far) life would get busy and then 6 months down the road I would post again--but look 2 posts in 1 month. But I'm trying to be good about this.

Kaia is only 16 weeks old.... she'll be 4 months old on the 3rd and even though it hasn't been that long, time has seemed to fly right by. There are things that I know I have already forgotten and that makes me extremely sad. She is such a happy baby all the time. She can out-fart both Josh and I and you can definitely tell when she is messing her pants. She is a high maintenance baby and does not like to have a dirty diaper and will scream until that thing is off.  She does a cute little thing with her lips, where she will smack her lips.  She is getting the hang of rolling over and even though I am so proud of her ... I hate it. That means she is growing up. I struggle Monday-Friday with having to go to work. I often feel like I am nothing more than a "milk cow". I miss out on 40+ hours of her life in a week! I'm afraid that I will miss out on important milestones of her life. Like crawling or saying her first word or taking her first step. I know that Josh is doing an amazing job taking care of Kaia, but I wish there was more I could do. I wish I could be there more for her. I just want her to know who her Mommy is. I know that I should count myself lucky that its josh taking care of her and not some stranger, but it is still hard. I just have to remind myself of the promises from my Heavenly Father, That I WILL be able to raise my children and that I will be able to stay home with them in the most important time of their lives... and that is what keeps me going. This is just one of my personal trials that I have to deal with.  While I'm sitting her writing this my beautiful daughter is laying in my arms sound asleep and that is what helps me get through this.

Life doesn't slow down...and I've learned that ever since having Kaia. I look back on my life, I've been married to my best friend for 2 years and I have an almost 4 month daughter! I want to enjoy every moment I have with my 2 favorite people! Fall is coming and that means BIG changes for our little family. I can't share the news just yet...but will once its official!

Journal Writing

Josh and I have been teaching Sunday school for the 12-13 year old and today we had a lesson about how important journals were.This was one of the talks that was in the lesson plan (http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2007/10/o-remember-remember?lang=eng) and it got me thinking that I needed to be better about writing down things that happen in our little family, especially now that we have Kaia. Yesterday she turned 3 months old and I haven't written anything down about her or the blessing she is in our lives. I know most blogs are for families and friends to keep in touch, which is great, but most importantly I want to blog to have a record of the things that happen in our family.

Josh and I were married on August 6, 2011. We dated the end of our senior year and were together for about a year. Things happened and I honestly didn't think I would ever be with Josh again. Josh left on a mission and served a faithful 2 year mission in Rio De Janeiro Brazil. I went to school to become a medical assistant and I worked in Bountiful and Logan Utah. I dated but never found anyone that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. Josh came home the end of May 2011, I went down to see him along with my friend Ali. The second day he was home we decided that we still had feelings for each other and made the decision that we wanted to get married. It was hard to explain to family and friends that I was in fact going to marry the person who had broken my heart 2 years prior. We were engaged on Saturday June 11 2011 and were married 8 weeks later. During our engagement I found a quote and think of it often when I think of our relationship, " Choose your love; love your choice".

We live in Monticello, Utah and even though its been hard to live so far from my family, we've been blessed with always having a place to live and jobs! This November we plan on moving up North, we are sad to be leaving Monticello but also super excited to start a new chapter in our life. Its amazing to see how things will fall into place if you live your life the way your suppose to. When Josh and I first planned on getting married we were worried as to where I should work and where to live. We made the decision to build a small cabin. and Josh worked very diligent those few months of our engagement to finish it so we would have a place to live. We also fasted and prayed that I would find a job and the next day I was offered a job at the local dentist office. We made the decision when we were first married that we would always pay an honest tithing and we have never had to worry about money of course we are not rich by any means but we always have money for the things we need and the things we want.

In May, Josh graduated from USU Eastern with an Associates in Science of General Studies. On the side he has been flying helicopters. He has only a few more hours till he gets his Private License. In June he took his written Private Pilots test and only missed 1 question! He really enjoys flying and wishes to make a career out of it.

I just continue to work as a Medical Assistant. Its been hard to go back to work but I am so blessed with the job I have and enjoy working with the people I do. I know that some day I will be able to stay home with my babies!

Kaia Rae Murdock was born May 3, 2013 at 7:02 PM. She was 4 days early and came just at the right time so my mom could come and spend a week with us! Its crazy how when you are pregnant those 9 months seem to drag on FOREVER and once you have that baby time flies! She has recently started to giggle and always has the biggest smiles in the morning. Josh has taken on the HUGE roll of staying home with her so I could go back to work. Not only does Josh watch Kaia while I am gone to work but he also works from home running his dad's business. He's super busy but he doesn't complain too much! It's been hard going back to work, especially when for the first 6 weeks of Kaia's life I was with her 24/7 but its such a blessing that Josh is able to take care of her. We also have family around who are always willing to help out and watch her if we need them too!

This blog will most likely be about Kaia because lets be honest, she's cuter and a lot more fun to talk about!