Murdock Family

I had a feeling this would happen. I would start a blog, write a post or two (ha, didn't even make it that far) life would get busy and then 6 months down the road I would post again--but look 2 posts in 1 month. But I'm trying to be good about this.

Kaia is only 16 weeks old.... she'll be 4 months old on the 3rd and even though it hasn't been that long, time has seemed to fly right by. There are things that I know I have already forgotten and that makes me extremely sad. She is such a happy baby all the time. She can out-fart both Josh and I and you can definitely tell when she is messing her pants. She is a high maintenance baby and does not like to have a dirty diaper and will scream until that thing is off.  She does a cute little thing with her lips, where she will smack her lips.  She is getting the hang of rolling over and even though I am so proud of her ... I hate it. That means she is growing up. I struggle Monday-Friday with having to go to work. I often feel like I am nothing more than a "milk cow". I miss out on 40+ hours of her life in a week! I'm afraid that I will miss out on important milestones of her life. Like crawling or saying her first word or taking her first step. I know that Josh is doing an amazing job taking care of Kaia, but I wish there was more I could do. I wish I could be there more for her. I just want her to know who her Mommy is. I know that I should count myself lucky that its josh taking care of her and not some stranger, but it is still hard. I just have to remind myself of the promises from my Heavenly Father, That I WILL be able to raise my children and that I will be able to stay home with them in the most important time of their lives... and that is what keeps me going. This is just one of my personal trials that I have to deal with.  While I'm sitting her writing this my beautiful daughter is laying in my arms sound asleep and that is what helps me get through this.

Life doesn't slow down...and I've learned that ever since having Kaia. I look back on my life, I've been married to my best friend for 2 years and I have an almost 4 month daughter! I want to enjoy every moment I have with my 2 favorite people! Fall is coming and that means BIG changes for our little family. I can't share the news just yet...but will once its official!